Thanksgiving Day, 2014 Dear Dad, This year is the very first year that I remember not avoiding your phone call. Every year of the past forty I have avoided what most consider a mundane task; and admit that I did this in several not-terribly-clever ways. All of which I was reasonably certain you could see right through, as you had the unfortunate hypervigilance of an individual with the brain wiring of a coyote. Always alert. Always defensive. Paranoid. Added to […]
See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me. See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me. Listening to you, I get the music. Gazing at you, I get the heat. Following you. I climb the mountain. I get excitement at your feet. Right behind you, I see the millions. On you, I see the glory. From you, I get opinion. From you, I get the story. ~The Who, 1975 You know when you’re at […]
EMPTY house. Empty bed. Morning shadows peeking in from closed curtains as if to see if he had made a decision regarding his own fate yet. IT felt almost certainly that it was a one-sided relationship he’d been experiencing these last few years. Most men might not have noticed; however, he was intuitively keen-sensed and more in touch with feelings than he was able to show overtly. There was some kind of unspoken agreement that he didn’t ever remember […]
“Fill up your head. Fill up your heart And take your shot. Don’t waste time trying to be Someone you’re not.” ~Dave Matthews If there is anyone or anything that says real to me, it is the Dave Matthews Band. This man can make something profound out of even the most simple of lyrics. He could make “Go to hell” sound like a great idea. Maybe I’m premenstrual, but these people envelop humanity to me. […]
Don’t close your eyes. This is your life: Are you who you want to be? This is your life: Is it everything you dreamed that it would be? When the world was younger and you had everything to lose. Switchfoot It had a hard-hitting beat. I used to run with it blaring loudly into my earbuds. It has always been one of those songs that has pushed me to think deeply while charging through my pain even harder than I’d […]
How very appropriate, I’m thinking to myself as I self-soothe with another bite of my (forbidden) bagel with berry cream cheese. It’s raining…tears. From Heaven, right? How cliché. Do you know how many articles I’ve scanned, Facebook posts I’ve glanced at, Twitter commentary I’ve witnessed, news reports I’ve absorbed in the last 24 hours? The news about Robin Williams’ “apparent suicide” resonates everywhere. People relating to his disease, the major depression, that exhausted him completely as well as the drug […]
Ok, just know going into this that I am both shamelessly venting and possibly overly dramatic. While moving forward don’t blame me for your sudden bout of indigestion. I am feeling angry. And I am resenting the fact that this anger is focused on the almighty power of one of my all time favorite defense mechanisms: Denial. Denial, by it’s most rudimentary definition is a disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing. A noun. Like a massive […]
So….? What now? Did he text you? I remember you saying something about his separation being finalized a month or two ago. That’s really exciting, huh? Have you been out in public together yet? It’s been…what? a year now since you’ve begun this little “relationship”?….Oh. I was hoping you could bring him to a gathering George is having for me. No worries! Come alone and plan to stay overnight here at our house. So you think maybe in the next […]
They Don't Have a Greeting Card for This 