See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me. See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me. Listening to you, I get the music. Gazing at you, I get the heat. Following you. I climb the mountain. I get excitement at your feet. Right behind you, I see the millions. On you, I see the glory. From you, I get opinion. From you, I get the story. ~The Who, 1975 You know when you’re at […]
I closed my eyes just for a long second or….maybe six. I was driving down that back road I often take home when there is excessive traffic on the main one. My lids wanted to come back up, to see, I guess. They didn’t trust that my brain could navigate the hills and wide turns on it’s own, without using sight. So I fought this compulsion to open my eyes. I actually argued […]
♣Yes, you heard me right. My father, now reduced to “cremains” (Blog #1 in my “Ashes” series), just showed up right out of the blue. It wasn’t odd only due to the fact that I’d never seen him in spandex or even on a bike, for that matter, but that I was humming along to a song about miracles. He died February 26, 2014. I have been waiting rather impatiently since February 27th to hear […]
TW for child abuse/sexual assault I remember talking to myself a great deal while growing up amidst chaos. Through memory and journals I was able to piece some of this together, mostly for self validation, but also to give people a look into the active, alert mind of quiet victims. Three year old me: Stop. But I need to get my medicine. Do not go that way. That’s where the angry voices are. Turn around and […]
His name was Tommy. He had fair skin and beautiful clear blue eyes. I believed even in high school that I could see right through them down into his soul. He was a loner and very difficult to read. He didn’t communicate much, if at all. He was guarded, maybe afraid that handing out his affections was frivolous or reckless behavior. I felt like he must be somehow damaged. His heart felt heavy to me. His eyes, too, had betrayed him. There was a […]
How in the bloody hell do you do it? Do what? Get through days where all you hear about are the media enhanced war stories, suicides, child abuse and neglect atrocities, gun violence on our neighborhood streets, ISIS, Syria beheadings, earthquakes, fires, melting ice caps, Ebola, political deadlock, the 99%… Oh. That. Well, I just have to look at my children. I look into my young son’s deep brown eyes that […]
Her tattoo read “just be held” in black lowercase typewriter-key font. It was perhaps one of the most impulsive decisions she’d made for the time commitment it required of her body. She treated herself to those particular three words on a warm day in July when she felt like she was coming completely undone. Casting Crowns new release,Thrive, had premiered on Pandora. In a moment of utter despair their song, “Just Be Held” spoke to her. It cut […]
How very appropriate, I’m thinking to myself as I self-soothe with another bite of my (forbidden) bagel with berry cream cheese. It’s raining…tears. From Heaven, right? How cliché. Do you know how many articles I’ve scanned, Facebook posts I’ve glanced at, Twitter commentary I’ve witnessed, news reports I’ve absorbed in the last 24 hours? The news about Robin Williams’ “apparent suicide” resonates everywhere. People relating to his disease, the major depression, that exhausted him completely as well as the drug […]
So….? What now? Did he text you? I remember you saying something about his separation being finalized a month or two ago. That’s really exciting, huh? Have you been out in public together yet? It’s been…what? a year now since you’ve begun this little “relationship”?….Oh. I was hoping you could bring him to a gathering George is having for me. No worries! Come alone and plan to stay overnight here at our house. So you think maybe in the next […]
Cremains are a dictionary term describing how a body turns from flesh and bone to ash. the author explores how difficult this is symbolically and where death fits into a life not lived. A personal account of mental illness, death and cremains.
They Don't Have a Greeting Card for This 